ORALIE GEORGE (Apprentice)


I think you’re ready to hear a little story about a girl named Oralie who didn’t have a very good time in high school. I’m referring to myself when I say Oralie, it’s me Oralie. I know you look at me now and think, boy she must have breezed through high school. Not the case Tim. This was not easy going up and down the halls with. They used to try to blow me up. People used to throw firecrackers on my head in high school. Firecrackers, literally, not figuratively. They called me a freak. Do you think I let that stop me? Do you think I went home crying to my mommy, “Oh, I don’t have any friends.” I did not. You know what I did? I pulled myself up, I studied hard, I read every book in the library and now I work for the government and have the highest possible security clearance. Don’t repeat that. I cannot protect you. I know where all the nukes are and I know the codes. You would be amazed, a lot of shopping malls. Don’t repeat that.


I grew up in Ontario, and moved across the ocean to Alberta in 2009. I must say I was lost. I have fallen. Yeah, oh shit. Took a hard hard violent fall, kinda pin-balled down hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit. I’m not gonna say I survived. I’m gonna say I thrived. I met a dolphin down there and I swear to God that dolphin, looked not at me, but into my soul, looked into my Goddamn soul Tim and said 'I'm saving you Oralie.' Not with his mouth but he said it, I'm assuming, telepathically. We had a connection that I don't even know how to explain it.